Two Episodes Too Late… THE PREMIERE

FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY …. THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE SEASON 4B PREMIERE….4 MORE EPISODES TILL ARIA FINDS OUT EZRA IS A. Okay, now that I’ve calmed down just a bit, let’s dissect the ep. I’m always only and forever team SPOBY.  SORRY Ezria and Haleb. Hanna is going to go to Ravenswood this season to get Caleb back. I don’t know which ep but all you Caleb fans still have hope. I also don’t know if it will be another crossover episode or we will actually have to watch Ravensdick. Are any of y’all actually watching that?! From what I can see all the kids are dead but alive. So um like is Caleb Patrick Swayze and Hanna Demi Moore #ghost The new kid is HOT. I want Hanna with new kid now. Okay, I just figured out his name, TRAVIS. I’m team TRANNA (shit that name won’t work). I was thinking Ashley Marin was taking her daughter to a shooting range to get her anger out, but no, not only is the town rampant with lesbians, it has some Greek plate throwing ranges. Yeah, cool, makes sense.

            Okay, this is hard for me to admit but I do believe that Spencer fucked up. And us Hastings’ girls don’t do that often. If she’s not in control she can’t handle it. I don’t think she was completely in the wrong though. Who were we to know that Shauna actually has been Alison’s closest friend since age 3? Spence was protecting Emily, because yes Emily is the fragile lesbian after all the attacks on her life and Spencer wanted to make sure she was okay and ended up scaring Ali. Obviously, Ali will contact Emily again, or the show would end, but it never will. I don’t know how  anyone will get anymore Ali info via Shauna since Ezra looks like he will be killing or critically injuring her in a fire (last scene ripping the pic of Ali and Shauna and lighting it on fire, he also would be the only one with access to the closed school). Back to Spence, I do understand Toby wanting to lay the mom saga to rest, so painful and wanted it to end BUT Spencer is completely right. There is a complete cover up. My theory: Mr. Hastings went to Radley in order to let them know he was going to close the place down, digging deeper into the death of Toby’s mother. I’m pretty sure Mrs. Dilaurentis knows the patient or was the patient that threw Toby’s mother to her death and has some dirt so deep on Mr. Hastings that her threats made him back down like a baby bitch. WHAT IS SHE HIDING? IS SHE REALLY TOBY’S MOM’S SISTER? IS SHE A MURDERER? WAS IT JASON WHO PUSHED HER AND HAS NEVER BEEN TO REHAB JUST KILLING PEOPLE AT RADLEY INSTEAD? Another thought…IS JASON IN RADLEY HIDING NOW AND BY CLOSING IT DOWN IT WILL EXPOSE NOT ONLY JESSICA BUT JASON AND THE FACT THEIR WHOLE FAMILY IS CLINICALLY (literally) INSANE. Spencer needs to keep investigating on both fronts but behind the scenes or else she’s going to lose not only her friends but her boyfriend. Last season was enough for SPOBY, let someone else take the reigns (Hanna) or at least think they are taking the reigns while you put all the pieces together quietly girl.

            Em clearly still loves Alison and Alison is right she can’t trust anyone but Emily. BRUCE WILLIS IS BAD. HE/SHE HAS BEEN FOR A WHILE, but if Emily now knows she can’t even trust Spencer I think her suspicions will be on high alert against everyone. Brings me to my next question: is anyone really a lesbian? Because we all know those ratios are outta whack. I think everyone’s box bouncing for information and Emily is the only true blue homosexual in the game. YOU GO EM. BE TRUE TO YOU GIRLFRIEND!

            Finally, Aria. I still think she is part of the A team. Just not knowing Ezra is A. But she is one DUMB team member. Every excuse Ezra has from the $50,000 pay off in season 2 for information (that Ezra claimed was money he sold for his old car) to thinking Jake would ever mislead her. He got her a freaking BROACH for heaven’s sake. Cause every 17 year old loves to sport broaches, CLASSIC ARIA. I don’t know why they zoomed in on the box (actual box) that the jewelry from Jake came in, but you bet your ass I took a picture of it to figure it out. Thank you for further proving Jake was right about you Ezra because that was smart and not obvious, right after you gave Aria the warning about Ezra and his flip out, you hide Edward Scissorhands in his boxing bag that he’s had since he was 15. UNLESS, it was Aria telling him to STFU and throw him off, but no I’m pretty sure Ezra the lunatic did that little scissorhands move on his whip cream break. Watch it Aria that mongo brownie is gonna go straight to your ass. I’m not sure who Ezra was talking to in the car, at first I thought it was Cece but I got a closer look and it didn’t look like her and I’m pretty sure Ezra hates everyone including Malcom. We shall see. Maybe another friend from that summer on the coast. WHAT A MONUMENTAL SUMMER. COAST 2K10!?!?!

            Can’t wait for next week to see if Shauna lives. If Mona is blowing Ezra to be part of the A team, praying that Mrs. Hastings gets home (from probably seeing Melissa and her illegitimate child) and starts kicking ass again, DOWN WITH MR. HASTINGS AND MRS. D. OH, AND how there are no nurses or dentists around while a hooded man dressed in all black walks casually into their offices and gives Hanna a lethal dose of laughing gas in order to implant a tracking device in her tooth. I mean did the dentists think she just passed out? Did they not look into her mouth for whatever procedure they were doing? Did Hanna think a piece of corn was stuck in her mouth from her TEETH CLEANING?!

            SO MANY QUESTIONS AND I CAN’T WAIT TO FINALLY GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. LET’S DO THIS.

xoxo,

b

Pretty Little Liars Winter Premiere “Who’s in the Box”

“Who’s in the Box” … your sensitivity to Ali’s grave at the Mausoleum is overwhelming. Really? Calling it a box? Who’s in the box? Jack.  Jack’s in the Box. That is an appropriate title for a fast food restaurant commercial. I’ll get over it but I mean seriously, person in charge of the 4 words to summarize the episode into a title, you should be fired.

Hellllo Hellllo Hellllo! Per usual, we were given NO answer and really NO new material. The sick sadistic way I. Marlene King keeps us coming back for more, by giving us NOTHING. I can’t not watch. It is like a beautiful train wreck and that is a horrific statement because train wrecks are tragic NOT BEAUTIFUL. 

SPOILER ALERT: For everyone, who was hoping next season (season 5) would be the last, King said in an interview that the season 4 spring finale basically opens up a whole new world for the liars. Your questions will be answered but there will of course be more new unanswered. She sees the show now going on to surpass the original planned 5 seasons. I DON’T want it to end but I DO. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? I NEED ANSWERS and I needed them yesterday. I don’t know how much more of this I can take, but if it does ever end I will spiral into a deep depression only curable by having Spencer Hastings herself come over and trick me out of my already pre planned depression.

Having said that onto the episode, they gave us 12094182049 clues the yes your beloved Ezra is in fact A. His reading assignment to the class, “Jekyll and Hyde”, is a direct reference to his bipolar character. When Mona approaches Ezra he is reading a book of 3 books in one, the 3 books are “Rear Window”, “I Married a Dead Man”, and “Waltz into Darkness”. The background book in this scene is “Evil Under the Sun”. Like okay, we GET IT.  Thanks so much for the subtle hints…

During Ezra and Mona’s conversation they discuss fear. I think Mona is especially hurt by Hanna and has nothing else to lose. She has no other way to get friends other than to get back in the A game. So, she goes directly to the HBIC, Ezra. Yes, Ezra is a bitch. Cool threat at the end of the scene Ezra. Your metaphors are so hurtful. We learn about Ezra and Mona’s past relationship this season…

Now, in regards to this whole Radley situation Mr. Hastings sure pounced on the chance to take down Radley as fast as he could. Why? I don’t know. My theory is he has secrets there and he wants the secrets demolished with the building. He’s already fathered Jason Delaurintis so who knows what else he’s done. One theory that Mrs. Cavanaugh and Mrs. Delaurintis are related, comes to me when I think of Radley. Does Spencer’s dad know about this and want the secret to die before his daughter finds out or is he really just protecting himself and his own indiscretions? Spencer seemed like she’d be happier to see Ian back from the dead than to destroy Radley. Why? I think Alison has been living in Radley and she wants to protect her friend. Now that they know all the “dreams” they saw her in were actually her, Alison was really walking around in her nightgown in the abandoned part of Radley that night Spencer was snooping around. She even showed spencer where the nametag of “Cece Drake” was, and it looked like it was a collection of Alison’s things. Ezra would not have access to Radley and no one goes to the abandoned wing anyways. Spencer is either protecting Alison or has her own secrets there as well, maybe more answers to solve this really realistic show, with no lights, no protection, and no real parents or policemen.

I 100% think Aria is a part of the A team but has no idea that Ezra is A. SPOILER ALERT: Ezra tells Aria he is A or whatever he is, in episode 20 of this season on a ferris wheel. She is apparently very upset, which she should be but I don’t buy that she is genuine. In past episodes the books by her bed, like Ezra, were all about death and mental disorder. There are so many signs Aria is apart of the A team I’m too tired to name them. One being several things in A’s lair are Aria’s from her magazines to pictures. Secondly, the night Ali goes missing Aria is the last one we see drinking out of a red solo cup with her stuffed animal “Pigtunia”, which she apparently takes everywhere. Never.noticed.the.pig. Pigs are a big clue throughout the show… who knew? NOT ME. OINK. In the following scene Jason finds a red cup in his backyard, so one of the girls left the sleep over and was in the Delaurintis backyard at some point. When the girls wake up, Aria’s cup and pig are gone.  I’ve thought Aria and Ezra were bad from day one, but not necessarily together.

Finally in the last scene, A aka Ezra aka bitch, comes into his house in the cabin, which he clearly states to Aria that there is no cell service, television, and complete silence (great for doing A things or holding hostages), opens up his hidden basement into the black abyss. What is down there? My guess is either Cece Drake hiding out or Jason Delaurintis being held hostage.

One final SPOILER ALERT: as we saw in this episode Hanna was on her A game. No double entendre intended. Since her and Caleb are on the outs, she will thrust herself into finding out who A is, and she is going to be the one that figures out Ezra is A, FIRST. You go Hefty Hanna! I’m so glad you and Mona dressed like you were extras in Zenon the Zequeal tonight. It looks like Stevie Wonder chooses your wardrobe. Never change girl. I have read one conflicting report that says Spencer will of course be leading the pack, but I’m gonna go with the Hanna Banana Marin theory.

It has only just begun…

Until next week.

xoxo,

B