The TRUE meaning of Emoticons/Emojis YOU’RE WELCOME

There’s so much confusion with emoticons and even MORE confusion between the sexes. They say so much without one word yet; if the person on the other end has a different take on the meaning of said emojis then things can get WEIRD (insert appropriate emoticon for weird here) WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? WHAT EXACTLY DOES THAT MEAN? I’m here to let know what they mean. Everyone has their own translation, but these are mine, so obviously they are right. Enjoy

 

 The classic “bestie” emoji. This is a well-known emoji that can be used for many things. Not to be confused with the politically correct “lesbian” emoji, these girls are just great friends. When this is sent it can mean the following depending on conversation.

Deep Conversations: you get one another, you got their back

Normal Conversations: just a shout to your girl, or boy. I use it with the boys but the get all confused … then I use the “gay” emoji for best boy friends … me being the other boy…story of my life

                        Disagreements: you come in peace, you get it, you’re over it, WE’RE BACK

  This is one of my PERSONAL favorites. I feel like I’m one of the only ones using this and we really need to get this out there. The tongue with the rain means you’re drooling. YUM. That looks good. You’re starving. Its nothing sick like some people think. Straight up mmm mmm good. Now separately the “tongue” can either be stuck out like “whatever” or like the Budweiser frogs “ahhhhhh” minus the wassup.  IF you’re flirting, the tongue clearly means “yum I want” to the guy. Don’t know how guys don’t UNDERSTAND, but from yesterday’s blog, clearly we have some communication and thought process errors/differences.

 These guys are pretty self explanatory except the last one. First one, the “clap”, not to be confused with chlamydia, just means bravo, you’ve either made a great joke or point, touché.  The second one, “prayer hands”, can mean you are actually sending prayers to someone, thanking someone a tremendous amount, or begging for help in any situation. Finally, the ole “high five”, for some reason you people think this means touchdown, that’s cute GIRLS. If you see the similar triangular symbols, meaning movement...like in the “clap” J this is clearly a moving high five. Uses included the same as the “clap”, but in a less personal way, BRO.

Another PERSONAL fav, “Russian bombs” that as far as I know I’m the only one that uses this combo. So this is more of an explanation to the people who get these guys from me. Who knew the Russian had a beard?!?! Anyways, if I’m pissed you will get these simultaneously repeated. The “Russian bomber” expresses how truly mad at him. YOU THINK THIS GUY, THIS COMBO IS FUNNY? … ITS NOT, IM MAD

 Wink and a kiss.

Friendly: just showing your friendship love, appreciation, sometime even a thank you and I’m sorry depending on the circumstances

If you like the person: THIS IS FLIRTING, you want that kiss and your wink means lets figure that out

 Embarrassment. USED A LOT. You could be just plain awkward. You could be embarrassed that you didn’t understand something, embarrassed about something you have done or said, embarrassed about something you have done or said and DIDN’T know you did. Several of these guys in a row means you are extremely embarrassment, maybe after a drunk dial, text, night out. THINGS HAPPEN.

 

 I’ve never actually seen this used when someone is talking about an actual eggplant. This is a PHALLIC symbol and should NEVER EVER EVER be used by a boy (it has happened).

 These symbols are all used to express your unhappiness to say the least. When someone says they are sarcastically “suicidal” these emojis are definitely used in the sentence. If you just got some new meds, the “pill” emoji is used, or other in situations…

These symbols sans “pill” are also used as to express threats, DON’T MESS WITH ME and YOU’RE DEAD MEAT, is what they scream.

 THESE GUUUUUYYYYSSSSS. Who doesn’t LOVE these guys?! They mean EVERYTHING. I am making the face of guy number 2 right now… I make this face all the time. Just like, YEP I SAID THAT or I AM SO EXCITED or YES, YES I ACTUALLY DID DO THAT WHOOPS, and even a little flirting with these guys never hurt. YES, I use these men to flirt, if I like you maybe I’m flirting maybe I’m not. Cryptic little shits that I LOVE.

The “sad face with tear”… if he is THIS one with the BLUE TINTED head… you are VERY upset or VERY sad. The blue tint takes it to a whole other level. There are several sad faces, but this guy is the saddest of them all. Take him seriously. Someone is devastated.  Poor guy/gal L

 People think this guy is smiling really big. I interpret this guy as embarrassed, not as embarrassed as ole’ flushed cheeks, but he is saying WHOOPS or PLEASE and waiting for the other party’s answer praying it’s a good one, but knows there is a good chance the other party won’t respond well.

LOVE. You LOVE something that has just been said or you LOVE someone. The cat love means more that the human love emoji. I DON’T like cats and LOVE this emoji. IT’S SPECIAL

Friendship: I LOVE that idea, I LOVE you, GREAT PLAN, AMAZING

If you like the person: all of the above, but you are FLIRTING as well, you might LOVE them…like for real…

THE MORE CONSECUTIVE “LOVE CATS” THE BETTER

THESE GIRLS ARE OUT OF CONTROL. I couldn’t crop the “thinking man” out of it, and I DON’T care about him, only used when you need a moment to think.

TOP LEFT: no absolutely NOT, NO MEANS NO

TOP MIDDLE: whatever?

TOP RIGHT:  yep, it was me, guilty, volunteering, pick me, or hey!!!! Over here I’m trying to get your attention

BOTTOM LEFT: Blowjob girl….WTF IS SHE DOING? I don’t know…. Close your mouth sweetie. Unless sound comes with the emoji and she is whistling, she is most definitely blowjob girl

 Once again the “cat crying laughing” emoji is 10x funnier than the human. You’ve got me good.  You’ve said something HILARIOUS. The more consecutive crying laughing cats you get the BETTER. You’ve hit it out of the ballpark. I am usually laughing out loud at my phone, solo... when I use this emoji consecutively. It is also used when I THINK I’ve said something funny, or am joking around.

If I have reached just one of you today, I have done my job. I hope this helps you in your communications endeavors with your friends and partners in life. Why use words when an emoticon can encapsulate so much?

xoxo,

B

Entering the Lion’s Den: An Interview with an anonymous male source, that will be revealed in due time Answering All Questions Girls Want to Know About Guys

Besides looks what attracts a guy to a girl right off the bat?

What she’s wearing, what kind of outfit are we working with? How she presents herself in the first couple of minutes, first impressions mean a lot.

What turns a guy off immediately? What turns a guy off over time?

Personally, being the most blackout girl wherever we meet and if I am able tell this is going to be a pattern…. That turns me off. I’m immediately not going to be excited or intrigued. Over time, being indecisive.

What turns a guy on immediately? What turns a guy on over time?

Immediately, physical attraction turns guys on. If you’re not physically attracted to the person how is it supposed to work? If she is the funniest girl in the world and you are not physically attracted to her then it won’t work. Over time is simple… someone that looks out for you, and is looking to help you as much as you are looking to help them, returning the favor.

How does a girl get the guy she likes?

Some guys like the chase and want you to work for them, some guys like being pursued. Some guys like the cat and mouse game. Some are straightforward guys, I’d rather know, and not play the game, it’s a waste of time that you could’ve been with that person.

Do guys like girls expressing their feelings?

Some guys do and some guys don’t. I’ll always ask if something is wrong. And I’d like to know immediately if I have done something wrong cause I wouldn’t have known otherwise.

When in a guy’s eyes, are you no longer friends and become a couple?

AFTER THE TALK, hooking up doesn’t count, all is fair game until the relationship is DEFINED, at least in this day and age.

Do guys feel guilty about ANYTHING?

One night stands with a girl that likes you: Yes but in a different way, men are better are letting it go, acting like it didn’t happen, and moving on.

Friends with benefits, knowing the girl likes you: No, because the girl has every ability to just stop what is going on, the girl can ask where it is going.

Having more than one girl: Yeah I think they feel guilty, but there is a rush to it.

Cheating: Yes, we have human feelings.

Why are guys so reserved with their feelings?

All guys aren’t. The guys that are reserved about feelings... it is human male nature. It is part of the male culture that guys are more hesitant to express their feelings, but it needs to be noted that some guys do express their feelings and it’s the girl that has the issues with expressing her own.

Even if guys THINK they are doing nothing wrong, do y’all KNOW you are?

No, not necessarily. If the girl hasn’t brought it to my attention there are plenty of instances that I would have no idea.

Let me in on some insider secrets or rules… things only boys know/think about any kind of relationship with a girl. Friends or Girlfriends.

Depends on the guy.

Speaking on behalf of myself, I like to keep my relationships more secretive and keep it between just me and the girl it involves.

What are your thoughts on LOVE? Do you personally think every guy wants to feel loved by a girl?

I’m all for love and I think it comes in different ways… over a long friendship, at first sight etc. I believe in it and it’s out there for everyone to have. I do think every guy wants to feel loved by a girl, sometimes I think guys put up a front, at the end of the day I think every guy wants to be loved.

Thank you for letting me pick your brain, and I personally have had many questions answered. I hope this clarifies things for other girls as well. I also, hope that guys see the confusion we as girls have, those are just a few of the questions. I LOVE LOVE AND FEELINGS AND LOVE J

xoxo,

B

Friday Five-Day: TOP 5 RANDOM THINGS FROM THIS WEEK’S NEWS THAT I LOVE

1. Republicans standing their ground during the government shutdown #NOBAMA (EVERYONE can agree on the hashtag, regardless of your political stance)

2. #5 of 12 Disgusting Alcoholic Drinks We Dare You To Try as reported by the Huffington Post ……  Excuse me Taylor and Kathryn Gilpin…. WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS…….?!?!

5. Gilpin Family Whisky

Urine of elderly diabetics

This wonderful concoction is the artistic statement of James Gilpin and unfortunately isn't sold in stores, so put your car keys down. Gilpin takes the urine of two diabetic patients daily, extracts the high sugar content, then uses that sugar in the fermentation of whisky production. Well, obviously!

3. SHIA LABEOUF as a main character in the upcoming move called “Nymphomaniac”

4.  SPRITE being found by scientists as the best hangover cure, beating out coffee, iced tea, and bloody mary’s or any hair of the dog ,,,, knew that carbonation WORKED

5. Darryl from the Office aka Craig Robinson being busted for boarding a plane with weed and ecstasy……DUDE you were Darryl….why in the WORLD would you be as dumb as KEVIN or think you were as cool as CLOONEY for this to go down well….. #fail

****Since it’s my first Friday… a bonus for y’all…. The Miley-Mumford and Sons mash up between Wrecking Ball and Little Lion Man … the song is actually very good with the Mumford touch, and we don’t have to pay attention Miley’s sexually confused hair and pitchfork tongue while we listen J

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gDlA_8k7n4

xoxo,

B

For LOVE of the Game … or the Girl … or the Game?

Fall. Football season. We wait for it all year… once the National Championship is over the countdown begins. Think ahead to spring and remember the thought… “wait what are we going to do on Saturday”…. Let me help you… ATTEND YOUR FRIENDS WEDDING because the WINTER, SPRING, OR SUMMER would be the appropriate times to have a wedding.

The ONLY TRUE loop hole is, if you have checked your football team’s FINAL schedule, not the one in February, the FINAL schedule, and the schedule of the majority of your guests’ schools (that you care about), and the majority of those teams have bye weeks or are playing shit teams, then please be my guest, have a fall wedding.

Reasons to NOT have a fall wedding during football season, especially in Texas include: Unless it is LATE fall, you might as well have a Summer wedding because it is still hot as balls. All I want to do is sweat all night at your FALL wedding. That look really bodes well for everyone……….(not). Do you want to look back at your wedding photos and see that you look like the creature from the black lagoon standing next to the Loch Ness monster? Depending on the time of your wedding (if timed inappropriately during any point of a big game), your guests will not be paying attention to you (bride or groom).  We stare at our phones in our purses, pockets, behind the program, while streaming the game live or constantly hitting refresh on our ESPN app. When our team scores, we aren’t cheering for you, we are cheering for the amazing play that has just happened, that you’ve missed by the way. Oh, I’m sorry things aren’t going as planned? We’ve been drinking since noon so we can only help ourselves, to your food, drinks, dance floor, and tunnel vision to the babes you’ve invited, but thanks for having us! …. Don’t get me started on ceremony versus reception…. My how your wedding will grow!

Reasons TO HAVE a fall wedding during football season: +mclean Brittingham This weekend is a GREAT example, I’m attending a wedding. Texas Tech/ Ole Miss wedding. In town… CHECK, don’t give a fuck about Texas or OU...CHECK, Tech plays unranked 1-3 Iowa State at 11am CHECK and the 4pm ceremony will be done (happily married and flawless) hours before the Ole Miss game…CHECK. Now, that is how to have a fall wedding in Texas during football season, oh and it’s in a church followed by a tented reception. NBD. If its not in Texas, then the reprieve from the swamp ass will be welcomed with delight, BUT be careful you can’t have your wedding too far away $$$$ there goes your guest list.

BOTTOM LINE: Be smart enough if you are going to have it in the fall … like the above couple…. And if you can’t be that crafty… you have 3 other seasons to choose from. Don’t be greedy, let football have fall. Godspeed.

P.S. I’m sure writing this entry has cursed me into a fall destination wedding J …. I do want destination…. ANY TAKERS?...........ANYONE?

MAZEL

xoxo,

B

Unconditional Love: all bark no bite

This piece is definitely for men and women. I’m obviously writing this from a woman’s point of view (for those of you that didn’t know I was a female), BUT it can definitely go either way…  I know you boys have experienced heartbreak and the same sentiments as us. Don’t act like you haven’t and are unbreakable…. you have confided in me during your dark times. So, replace the word man for woman and you’ve got yourself an entry to please all the sexes…. Enjoy

“Dogs never bite me. Just humans” – Marilyn Monroe

Having a dog has personally taught me so much about true, unconditional love.  REAL love. My dog, Tigerlily, is the perfect companion in my opinion. Now, her and I bite one another muhaha, I did teach her this, just a couple bitches playing around, but that is all in good fun. She has NEVER and would NEVER hurt me physically. Our emotional bond is so strong I don’t think she would know how to hurt me emotionally like say ... a guy would.

SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE Y’ALL? What do I call y’all? Boys, men, guys? A male's answer would be nice.

The only thing I think a dog takes more personally than a human (except maybe a woman to a man J) is when their owner and companion leaves town. Oh, how I wish they could understand. I will always come back for you, always.

It seems silly to compare a dog’s love to a man’s love, but is it really that far fetched? The bar SHOULD be set that high and we need to remember that (especially me and I'm sure some of you). Shouldn’t the person you are meant to be with want to be around you constantly, want to go on your funny adventures, beg to hang out with you all the time and love all of your friends, take you on their funny adventures, lay in bed with you for hours not speaking (obviously) but having the comfort and company of one another be enough…words aren’t necessary. When I’m upset, Tigerlily comes running to me licking the tears off my face, because I can tell my pain is causing her pain. That is what a partner should do. That is how a partner should feel.  If you’re into to licking then lick, but my point is if a wonderful simple minded animal, can get over and forget about them being punished for doing something wrong and continue to be just as loving as they’ve always been, then a human, who has the gift of speech should not waste their time on fights and harboring feelings about what has just happened (GUILTY on all counts), concentrate on the LOVE. Treat others in life especially anyone in any kind of relationship (friend or partner) how your dog would treat them. Don't hold a grudge (guilty) and love each other unconditionally. 

Don’t settle, don’t try to force love. We do not make our dogs like us, they LOVE us because their ability to love is black and white. They sense the good in all of us and give us everything they have without any instruction or hesitation. No holding back…. Even the dogs with the worst manners love us so fully, completely, unreservedly, absolutely, I only wish to find that kind of love in a man one day, we sure as hell deserve it, every one of us. This world would be a better place if we were all just a little more like our dogs.

xoxo,

B